A star-studded celebration of The Wedge, and surprisingly ‘Sturge the Surge’ enjoyed the warmest reception of the evening. Though even with Guinness goggles, Waudo was only sufficiently charmed to be seen offering his orange based conserve. The sole major indiscretion of behaviour was confronted by Her Majesty no less, elegantly addressing the elephant in ones room with the grace and poise we have come to expect. Commendation to all of Team Walton for showing relative ease at the ascension to appreciating such Royal practices. Deal, being the more accustomed to the pageantry of such occasions, took the lead on formal entertainment. Oliver ‘Holden Jnr’ Daws is almost as content delighting in jokes as he is playing full time golf around the world, both to a praiseworthy standard. Lest we forget, the mental agility and lunching prowess of Matthew Webster, extracting a poem from his cellar of experience at a moments notice. The respective Captains held strong as always, with the modest winner’s speech a clear indication of the team triumphing that day.
Ah, the day! Like England RFU team, Deal essentially played the whole day a man short, and like Wales RFU team, Walton did play that day. Usually a close affair, with Walton occasionally going big, this was a very different Wedge! Not since 2014 have we seen Deal win by such a dominant margin. Only Berryman, Waud, Gates, and Russell showed resistance and chalked up a point a piece for Walton, what did they have in common? Well, they may have all played against the same man for their respective point, but after exhaustive analysis, it has been scientifically explained with the following breakdown: 50% these men of Walton played superbly, 18% S. Mason is an individual who inspires those around him, 15% Flashman-Fox can’t even play to a 7 handicap, 15% C. Wood was suffering fatigue from long COVID, and 2% S. Mason played some pretty turgid golf. You can’t argue with the science.
Standing ovations to the Deal men posting a two-point day; Michael Hedges, on a continuation of much improved Wedge form, led from the front. Max Williams, now widely believed to be the modern-day Sampson, a performance of flowing locks and golfing strength. George Donoghue, using his substantial shoulders to carry the weight of expectation, delivering, again. Oli Daws, taking a break from “work” to play some outstanding golf. Then a surprise from the Westerly County of England, Thomas Meredith Biggs finding his first ever morning point, and adding an afternoon one to boot. Well played gents.
In truth, a much needed Deal win, still leaving the all-time honours board with Walton’s fourteen Wedge Trophy wins to Deal’s nine. Though, a quick calculation, based on how old people probably are, tells us the average age of a Deal player this year was 13.5 years lower than his Walton counterpart. Is the stringent youth policy at Deal finally paying dividends? Has the lack of success to move the Walton clubhouse distracted the Walton Captain? Where does Tillie keep disappearing for an age between golf and drinking? Will T. Biggs break his trilogy rule and have a 4th poem ready for the Walton leg in October?
Those, and other questions, can be pondered as we await the next instalment of the irrepressibly seductive Wedge Trophy. Until then.
Assistant / ‘Assistant to the’ Deal Captain
